I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
