i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
