she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
