The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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