That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
