69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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