My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
