Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
