What did we do last night that was yellow?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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