i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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