it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
