you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
