Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
