Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
