I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
