I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if only i could text you this smell
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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