ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
