New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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