guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize