i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
