He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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