He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
