i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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