Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
