capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
