I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
