I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
