Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
