So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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