it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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