Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
