You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
