Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
4 words: hood of his car
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
