the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just pee around me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
