I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
