You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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