You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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