just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
