just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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