I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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