You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
