he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
