she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
