Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
