i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
