just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and she was petting her beer can
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
