No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
