He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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