I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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