I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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