Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
