Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
