for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
