and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
