so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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